My Blog

juz want to share with you all about my recent update….

i am better… so for whoever that worry bout my situation… i am fine

i am trying to get my license cos i already got my ATT letter from the state

yes…. i am single… n lookin forward to date again….

so for anybody who wants to hang out?! i am down….

i guess you guys right… i need to enjoy this freedom

i was holding myself back for being someone that i am not… thats wrong

now i realise how much i miss all the beauty… n cute guys… hehe j/k

i was feeling down for the fact that im divorced in a very young age…

i was ashame of myself…BUT… i wont regret it

i made my decision to b married n divorced cos it wasnt working…

its a good thing there’s no kids involved so….

im blessed to have all my friends behind me n all my loving family of course

i love you guys… n believe me…

i will not let another guy put me down n make me feel stupid being with him

becoz i am strong… i am me… n i will never change my self into Not me

i will find someone who can appreciate me for who i am or what i am

yes i am asian… i dont have a blonde hair, light skin… color eye… or wutever

but i am proud to be me… to be Mei2…

i am sorry made some of you worried… but i am better… n will b much better

hey… im over this dude… he’s lost… n im gone…

thanks to you all….. mei2 love you…

have you ever feel like you are not whole?

when you are used to something complete and half pieces went to different direction…

you left incomplete…

and even thou you were half before you knew the other half…

and it completed you…. now you want it stay that way…

maybe i can find a million reasons not to be with you…

but none of those matter… coz i wont care….

it only takes one reason to be with someone….

but does he still want to pick up the pieces which left broken?

dose he? no…. he doesnt!

heart….

its ok to give it another shot!

everything will be better!

you want to be with him!

you are miserable  without him…

your heart is never wrong… for your own sake

head…

dont! you will get hurt! even worst!

he doesnt care bout you…  all he care just his own happiness…

you are miserable … dont make it worst!

listen to your mother!

please dont let your emotion takes control of yourself…

ketika batas itu tiba… aku tak dapat menunggu… dimana hati bertarung akan apa yang diinginkan…

lihat lah kepingan ini… hatiku yang rapuh…

detik lalu berpikir tuk terus berjalan… dan sesaat berpikir tuk menoleh

Tuhan… apa yang Kau sediakan untuk ku diujung sana…

akankan ku dapat meraih kotak kebahagiaan yang telah tersedia?

mengapa pertarungan ini menghancurkan hatiku?

aku lelah menapak jalan yang penuh duri…

hanyalah torehan luka yang kudapati

diapun tidak menoleh tuk mencari kepergianku…

biarkan lah dia pergi… meninggalkan ku disini dibatas peleburan

bukalah pintu baru dan hapuslah jejaknya dihatiku…

tolonglah…

gotta change my anwering machine, now that im alone

coz rite now it says that we, cant come to the phone

n i noe it makes no sense cos u walked out the door

but its the only way i could hear your voice anymore…

its ridiculous…  its been months n 4 sum reasons i just…

cant get over us… and im stronger than this.

enough is enough… no more walkin round with my head down

im so over being blue … crying over you…

cos im so sick of love songs so tired of tears

so done with wishing you were still here

cos im so sick of love songs so sad n slow

so y cant i turn off the radio…

gotta fix that calender i have, thats marked october 10th

becuz there is no more you, there’s no more anniversary

im so fed up with ma thoughts of you n ur memories

n how everysongs remainds me what it used to be…

leave me alone…. stupid love songs…

dont make me think about his smiles or..

or having ma 1st child… just let it go…turning off the radio…

giliran gw dah mo lupain… bonyok nya nelpon n bilang

mery dia masih sayang n kayanya dia nyesel deh atas keputusannya…

well guess what?! dont yu think its a little late for that…

setelah usahanya balik ma mantannya n ditolak trus mo balik ma gw gitu… hahaha

lo kira gw ban serep enak aja…

mak nya bilang dia nangis duduk dilantai n nanya apa sehariusnya dia terima gw balik?

hah gak salah tuh? yg mo balik ma lu tu sape? ih gw mah ogaaaaaaaah…

keluarga gw tuh n temen2 gw yg sayang ma gw dah siap gebukin lo sampe babak belur tau, sayang aja kalo disini mereka bisa masuk penjara…

mendingan lo cepet dah pindah ke luar propinsi sana, biar gw gak liat muka butek lo lagi… sekarang gw dah maju…. gw gak mau disibukin ma sakit hati yg gak jelas juntrungannya lagi..

cowo bukan lo aja…. masih banyak yg ngantri di depan rumah gw (nagih utang) hak hak hak

ah… gw seneng banget deh udah bangkit dari kesengsaraan…

karna temen2 gw yg banyak support n bantuin gw…

yg ikut doain gw biar lebih tegar n baik2 aja…

trima kasih ku kepada….ato, dim2, indri, harry tentunya yg smsin gw tiap hari bikin gw lebih tegar, keluarga gw yg utama, sepupu gw gita, tante2ku tercinta, bunda yg lagi kerja…. dan semua temen2 di ACC yg ngajakin gw jalan2 n traktir2 sekalian hehehe….

love you guys… itulah perkembangan perasaan gw saat ini…

masih banyak lagi kok air matanya, bukan berarti gw gak bakalan nangis loh, tapi yah … seenggaknya gak kaya sebelomnya. talk with u guys latez…

you said that you never said what i told you lastnight?

i was wrong n nuthing’s goin on?

you both full of shits ok

one is letting you having expectations

n you… for swearing u didnt but you did…

if you dont then why you are worrying…

cos you did then now i knew… but its already too late..

i said goodbye, you said no…. well it is goodbye for us…

i have all my frens standing behind me to support me get thru this

who u have? just your mom n her? poor guy..

you are the most pathetic n the cheapest guy i ever known in the whole universe

manwhore like they said….

jump out to quick to another ship…

well good luck with the life you choosen… just dont regret it

cos i am gone…. forever…

what else can i do huh?

i am sick n tired of all the shits thats been goin on…

i dont want to deal with this anymore…

like i told you last nite, i am just gonna let go

thats why i said goodbye…

no more talking, phonecalls, seeing each other, texting each other

none of those…

stop it n quit everything.

u said i’ve been playing? well guess what…

who’s been played so far? me!!!

n i am done being stupid…

i dont want this anymore

i will stop hoping, wishing, crying, dreaming wutever that i was doing

cos like you said rite… just a mistake…

then i will take it n deal with this myself…

no more us….

we are over now…. completely over… n stupid me… i just ended now…

when my heart is already torn apart…

like bon jovi said…

there’s one thing i hang on to to get me thru the nite

i aint guna do what i dont want to, i am guna live my life

shining like a diamond, rollin with the dice

standing on the edges show the wind how to fly…

when the world’s in my face then i say… have a nice day…

it hurts knowing that all this time has passed by full of lies

all you were doing were just pretending to be something you never were

you pretended to love me

you pretended to be happy

you pretended to belief what you never did

you pretended like you like being yourself but you never did

you pretended the way you feel about me

you pretended that you were lucky

you pretended to be supportive partner

i am tired n hurted that i am now realizing that those are lies

you regret all the things that had happened

you blame me for everything

i am tired to be me and i dont want to face the fact that you are just pretender

i am sorry for your unhappiness…

but people need to realise that they make mistakes like we all do

so i am sorry for not being someone you always expected me to be

but i never regret everything we had…. n i am sorry that it has to end this way

but i will stop blaming my self for all these.

coz i am not the only one who made mistakes… but we both did

may be you should correct yourself and look back a little…

try to stand for yourself without nobody behind you

you cant even stand up alone without someone behind you

you need to grow up and face things as an adult….

you said i only think about my self?! you know what you dont even realise the things i did for the both of us…

i will not let you brainwash me by saying its all my faults no more

cos its not!

you said you’re using your brain? you know what…. as long as your brain compromise with your heart, its not gonna be a problem..

but it seems like your brain and your heart going in the different directions…

so yeah just be happy without me…. cos i will be!!!

sayonara

i wont see your smile n i wont hear your laugh anymore

everynight i wont see you walk thru that door

cause time wasnt onyour side, it isnt right i cant say i love you

its too late too tell you but i really need you to know

no i’ll never forget you, i will never let you out of my heart

you will always be here with me, i’ll hold on to the memories

do you know how it feels lying here without you

you could never undrstand whats happening to me

so alone… nuthins real…

i just dream about you baby and forever wonder why you have to break free

its so hard to believe i dont have you here beside me

as i long to touch you but you are out of my reach

and my heart doesnt feel

it so very cold inside me

just a shadow of someone that i used to be

you were the only one that i allowed inside my heart

now im just holding on to something so far gone

where did i go wrong…?